Funny travels on the Tube

Perhaps it's a sign of the times that London's Tube Drivers are to be given a book of poetry to ease the cares of stressed travellers on one of the world's busiest transport networks. Many think this would be a nice way to make the morning commute run a little smoother but the scheme has also been highly criticised for taking some seriousness out of an official body.

My opinion is firmly routed in the first camp and in an effort to ease the concerns of some critics I've complied a list of my favourite quotes from London Underground drivers that have been heard on Tube. Any of this naturally occurring banter would have cheered my day up no end

Here are my favourites:

"Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity, failing that, give it to me."

"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E&B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."

"This is Knightsbridge Station. All change here for My Fayed's little corner shop"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home. Unless of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound platform and go in the opposite direction."

For many more like this, check out The London Paper's list

Happy Travels!

Travels in...Notting Hill

Ever since Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant starred in the hugely successful eponymous film, Notting Hill had had a reputation for uppercut society. This may be true but it's still got a cracking arts and entertainment scene that isn't afraid to get a bit down and dirty. The Notting Hill Arts Club is one of my favourite London venues; it offers live music throughout the week and a variety of quirky and creative events. There are also plenty of great venues for top notch comedy nearby and the renowned Gate Theatre is one of the best fringe theatre venues in our great capital.

With more posh art galleries then you could shake a mahogany stick at, there isn't a shortage of refinement but those in search of a bargain shouldn't neglect the wonderful Portobello Market. For music, clothes, food and bric-a-brac; this market is equally popular with tourists and locals, but get there early because it become very crowded on a Saturday afternoon.

I sidled along to a few of these West London haunts just this morning and I'm already starting to see some of the preparations get underway for the legendary Notting Hill Carnival, which takes place at the end of next month. Expect plenty of info about that coming up on my Twitter feed. It's always a fantastic event so if you've never made it down there before then make this year the first of many!

Travels in....Elephant and Castle

Now, I know what you're going to say. "Travel in Elephant and Castle? Are you mad? What's there except a bloody great eyesore of a shopping centre and enough takeaways to feed the entire British Army."

Well, according to this article by the Guardian, you're wrong. Elephant and Castle is now has the coolest music scene in the UK. FACT. Now, I've been unintentionally hanging around Elephant and Castle for some time for the occasional good night out at The Coronet and since reading the Guardian article, I've taken a closer look at some of the venues.

I'm ashamed to admitted I hadn't spent any time at Corsica Studios until earlier this year, and boy, was I missing out. It's an utterly inspiring and diverse venue space, dedicated to cutting-edge creativity and culture. For big beat cravers this patch of South London is also home to the legendary Ministry of Sound nightclub, but it's not only music fans that have something to gain from a trip t'other side of the river.

Elephant and Castle is also building a strong reputation as a leader in London's alternative art scene - with unique exhibitions taking place in reclaimed or run-down shops and of course the London College of Communication showcasing photography work from their recent graduates.

With billions of pounds soon to be spent in regenerating the area, it seems that Elephant and Castle will not be such a well kept secret much longer.

What's in a name?

When travelling around London, it's hard to miss the unusual place names that seem to pop up everywhere. Sometimes I'm so used to switching buses at places called Elephant and Castle, or popping out to pick up a few things in Spitalfields.

Now Visit London have started an initative to get tourists and locals off the beaten track, to go out and explore London's hidden treasures, maybe even to learn something along the way.

Street Stories is the name of the event at Buckingham Palace where visitors participate in a game of "paille maille" - a 17th Century precursor to croquet that is believed to have given its name to the stately London avenue now know as Pall Mall.

There's plenty to learn about how the English Language has changed and shaped the common place names that we now take for granted. Turns out, it wasn't all down to Shakespeare.